projectroxas | ON BRIANNA (version 2)

current brianna
(23~onward)

♛ Her favorite pastime is lazing around, sleeping, or eating three times her weight.

♛ Models/acts for a living. VERY UNSURE oh how this all happened, tbh, considering her past. Will have to plot this out because I'm sure there's a story behind it.

♛ Loves the movie Sleeping Beauty. :(

♛ Is terribly in love with Albert. D'aw.

♛ Also, she sings but only sings to Albert when they are in one of their closed-door moments. Used to sing a lot as a child but NOPE EVERYONE ELSE IS COCKBLOCKED, sry2say.

♛ She's very classy but likes to wear casual clothing (that costs hundreds of dollars, of course) when she's out doing her business. Only wears black, red, and sometimes a dark green. Is not very fond of anything that's cutesy, either.

♛ HOWEVER, Brianna doesn't really like to wear clothing in general. Can usually be seen wandering around in either her underwear or something resembling it when at home.

♛ She goes to clubs. Mainly to socialize with co-workers and stuff since they invite her along after shoots/filming most of the time. Though I think sometimes she goes by herself? Or drags someone else along for the ride. Might be her version of a thrill.

♛ Brianna is a peculiar mix of being extremely emotional to those she loves (aka her family) & unemotional when it comes to things that require a certain amount of worry (see someone getting hurt & her backing away rather than rushing to the problem.) There is no such thing as "opening up." She doesn't... operate that way, unfortunately, not really finding the mushy, deep stuff necessary. She'd rather playfully show that she cares.

♛ Brianna doesn't... get angry/irritated easily. She takes alot of things in stride, though when she does get angry it's calm & collected, but there's really no telling what she'd do in a blind rage. Seems to only get this way when someone threatens Albert/seems like a threat to him in general.

♛ With that said, she's very very protective over Albert. Very. This mainly stems from being all SUPER SEME/the caretaker in their younger years, so a part of her still feels like that's still intact in some situations, though she never takes the reigns (any longer) since Albert is "the king."

♛ Has some fancy red sports car but does not drive it very often. Would rather be carted around than drive on her own.

♛ Her back is VERY sensitive. I'm unsure if this is just something that happens with time or not, but she goes into some weird state of euphoria when it's touched. Though hm. We've only witnessed Albert doing it so I am unsure if she'd flinch away if it were anyone else. Something to think about.

♛ Also enjoys the sensation she gets when her neck is touched.

♛ Is very physical/likes touching her family members. She has a different "scale" with each of them, however-- obviously with Albert it can go from really gentle/loving all the way into something more lewd/perverted, while Damon gets more of her "motherly in feel" gentle touches but also likes to hook her arm around him and make it known that she can be his quirky sister if need be. Nathan... is a special case since she seems to flip-flop back and forth with him, though she mainly uses physical force to tease him. 'cause, y'know, he's really easy to tease.

♛ Has scars on her breasts after That Night. Not 100% sure on why she didn't have them removed, tbh. Still guessing it has to do with her thinking she deserves them/that just removing them would not get rid of what happened. Have to heal the invisible scars before the real ones, etc.

♛ Is careful on what she wears because of this. Does not like having them visible at all, so she's really good/skilled on how to cover herself up on that particular area in any event, unless she just. Doesn't feel like it (like getting naked in front of Albert, but that's okay most of the time since he's good at keeping his eyes off of that particular area, Y/Y?)

♛ Deep down inside she feels really lonely sometimes. Or rather, lonely because of being rejected a lot throughout her lifetime (nobody really liked her in school; Albert via younger years, before Roxas died; Nathan currently being all RAH at her; Damon because she knows he feels tired around his family; Liam is the obvious one that doesn't really need any explanation.) So basically Brianna was/is, well, not exactly a favorite of the family. :') She does not like to show this to anyone or makes it completely known, simply because she thinks it's something that she needs to control by herself. She's... private in this aspect of her life, really. No need for anyone else to know.

But because of Sheryl being around on That Night in the hospital, I think she (& Adam because of therapy times afterward) is the only one who knows the extent of it. More plottings need to happen for this to flesh it all out.

♛ I feel like she's selfish in a non-selfish way. Brianna's bottom line is family & their happiness, but she goes at such a roundabout way of helping them/showing she cares that it can come off as doing it for herself, when in reality she really just wants to do what's best for everyone else. Yeah, she can be really self-centered at times, but again, it all comes back to caring for the people she's closest to.

♛ Because of how she took care of everyone when younger, Brianna feels really loved/special when Albert is all ALPHA MALE. This sounds weird, but because of her taking on the role of a mother/guardian for so long, it feels nice to have someone else make her feel safe and taken care of. She certainly did not expect that when younger, so. Yeah. It just makes her secretly happy, something that she keeps to herself to mull over in private.

♛ She doesn't particularly care for calling Albert by his name when talking to him. Noticed she said it in front of Nathan a few times, but never to Albert's face. Not sure why this is. She enjoys using pet names, as you can see. Maybe to her it's more caring? In a strange way. She might start saying his name when they're behind locked doors, though.

♛ LOVES CHILDRENS & really, really wants one of her own. Yes, she has Damon & Nathan, but she selfishly (?) wants to have one that isn't on the borderline of being a kid and a sibling at the same time.

♛ Unfortunately, she can't have children. HOWEVER, this will be a very important element in Brianna's character in general since she does end up with a child in the future. More will be explained later in detail when it is all fleshed out.

♛ When it comes to family relationships, she doesn't seem to act very different on the outside with any of them. Obviously she's closest to Albert; with Albert she doesn't feel the need to hold back any, knowing that he welcomes her with open arms & knows her better than anyone else (and vice versa.) They have a good enough relationship with one another that she never sees any reason to argue with him or get into any sort of spats. She trusts him (his judgement) enough to know that he has a reason for doing everything that he does. Brianna would never leave/abandon him, and she'd even kill for him if need be (which does happen & will happen in the future if the time calls for it.)

Her relationship with Damon is complicated yet not. He was her "firstborn", so to say, which made her extremely attached to him by default. Over time she's grown to love him more like a son than a younger brother, opting to take on a motherly role as much as she is able to. Sometimes she feels bad that she can't do that much for him (he's growing up and does not ask for anything from her) but it's mainly because she's so... parental with him. Brianna has a very large soft spot with Damon & just wants the best for him, though she feels like there are several boundaries that can't be crossed with him.

Cannot say for sure how she feels about Nathan. I have a feeling she tries too hard with him, which only makes him even more angry with her. They have a very... push-and-pull relationship. There are a lot of barriers that surround them as a whole, especially since Nathan makes it clear to her that she's not his mother. I'm not really sure what else to say but that because some event that takes place between them is not out in the open just yet.

Liam was her greatest regret of all. Not for him being born, but simply for the fact that she tried with him but did not get a positive response in return. Not that she expected anything from him, of course, it's just the principle of it all. I know they had a very strange dynamic between them, as Liam showed some kind of twisted form of affection for Brianna when he realized what he "had to do." Thinking it would've been even stranger if he had been a bit older when That Night happened.

One other person she trusts/adores & considers her mother of sorts is Sheryl. It's interesting to me because out of all of the people she interacts with on a semi-daily basis from work, Sheryl is the only person she has connected to on the outside. But really, she looks up to her & lets her guard down because she knows that she wouldn't hurt her.

♛ Brianna actually thinks it's her fault for Nathan being, well. Nathan.

For one thing, she believes she was the one who deserved to die rather than Liam. Or rather, she wouldn't have minded it either way. Insert the talk about Albert giving her life more than once. But she instead was given the life that Liam might have had, had he (Liam) not been so persistent in "righting the wrongs" of the family (aka Brianna herself). So I guess she feels... something towards Nathan because of this. But I'm not sure what, nor does she really know, because he obviously rubs against soft spots that she doesn't like being touched.

TL;DR PLOTTING POINTS THAT I WILL CLEAN UP LATER:
♛ Okay, so. After That Night it's obvious that Brianna is pretty gd hurt, in more ways than one. When Liam told her his "reasoning" she was more willing to accept it because... hm. She's always sort of felt like it would happen anyway? Sort of. So when it WAS going to happen she would have rather Liam had his way & let that be that, but then everything sort of went downhill from there. I think living through that experience made something go off in her subconscious, the knowledge of not being "needed" or "wanted" by someone who she's connected to (who they all are) on top of the other stuff that happened in her childhood, which leads to everything else that happens:

I think Brianna had some kind of... fit. Like, you know how Albert's OFF switch goes haywire when G dies? It happened for Brianna, too, after she wakes up from That Night. She... went through many emotional stages throughout this whole thing, y'know? I think it finally hit a wrong button in her mental capacity to handle those types of situations, aka the emotion attached to it all. So she sort of just uh. Snapped & flipped out while still in the hospital.

This fit probably lead her into being at the hospital longer, and this is where Adam would spend a lot of time with her, hence why Brianna is hesiating on the whole therapy thing at the moment. Not exactly happy memories for Brianna. :') She's okay with Sheryl for some reason, but I think that mainly stems from the fact that she helped her a lot to LIVE & Adam had to help in another way. Not sure if he was successful or she just. Took from whatever he did & built something herself, like the "putting bad feelings into a box & taking them out later" thing she does. Helps her function better & doesn't make her have a fit (also, maturity lead her to being able to handle this type of stuff too, of course, but her own methods is a big part of how she operates today). This is also where HER version of a closed-door event happens with Albert, 'cause they've seen one another at eachother's worst, etc. etc.

Medical-wise, I am... not sure how long it would take for her to physically recover? I know breasts have more fatty tissue so it's not like, hitting a tendon or something, but it WAS on her chest & who knows if Liam actually hit something more vital. So I can't say how long the physical part lasted, but I think Adam kept her away for at least a week to work with her alone.

... but. Hm. Brianna's giving me mixed signals on how she felt throughout this whole thing? Obviously I understand why her emotional capacity levels freaked out on her but uh. When she was actually aware of things? Yeah, I don't even know, 'cause part of her says "I want to see Albert" but the other says "I can't show him my face." She feels grateful yet guilty at the same time. Sooner or later she'll get over the guilt & remind herself that Albert did it so she could LIVE, hence "training" herself to become stronger, I suppose? Or rather, be able to handle those types of situations better, especially since Albert > her own feelings.

Depending on Albert's reaction AFTER Brianna is okay, well. Brianna is obviously going to help in any way she can. This'll be a big unknown for now, but again, she'll be over the whole guilt thing since she thinks it would be an insult to what he did for her. Not one to dig inside herself because she has had the chance to live like... three times now. Doesn't (won't ever) take that for granted.

♛ Something else that's been kind of burdening her shoulders lately is that she's starting to open the box that contains most of the boy's (Damon, Liam & Nathan) childhood. Or something like that. More like her feelings on them & their feelings on her.

I don't think she thinks she did a good job of being a guardian/parent/big sister. Or rather, she thinks she did something wrong in the mix of it all since things aren't... "normal" I guess? She's more perceptive than I give her credit for, actually. It looks like she feels when Damon is tired when around them. He keeps it under wraps pretty well, but you know how parents can see past some of the walls you put up (or people that are close to you in general)? It's kind of like that with Brianna. So even if she doesn't entirely understand the reason for it (wouldn't unless Damon said anything) she automatically connects it to being around them in general without question.

That brings her to feeling torn on wanting him around & wanting him gone. Brianna knows when to let go, but this is also why she pushes him to go out with his friends rather than go out with her or stay at home, which is why I questioned whether or not Damon would stay at home for Christmas. Obviously she's all "/GRABBY HANDS" to him but she'd rather him be... happy? Comfortable? I don't know. This is another reason why she wasn't opposed to him going and staying at his university. She wants him happy & free, not trapped and tired.

Then we go back to Nathan being, well. Nathan. She understands why he's :| at her (& Albert) but it doesn't hurt any less? She tries, yet that doesn't do much to help either. Liam is probably her greatest regret of all. Not him exactly, but everything that happened. She keeps wondering why he didn't love her, even after he explains himself. It... really hurts her, haha. Like, a lot more than I thought it did. Kinda makes my chest hurt too sob.

So I guess it all boils down to her feeling so strongly for the others that everything that came to pass (her childhood, That Night, the way things are now) just hits her harder than I thought? See the above bullet points too, since that definitely adds onto it. I don't know. :(

loli brianna

♕ Likes cats. Like, a lot, hence why she has a plush cat!

♕ Did not develop well in her gender, aka was a "late bloomer." Is described as being very "doll-like."

♕ Always wore colorful froofy dresses/outfits. PASTELS TO THE EXTREME.

♕ I noticed that she says things like "I'm tired" or "I'm hungry" but she never follows through with those thoughts/urges. It almost seems as if she feels what Albert feels & her urges/needs are satisfied when his are? Like, in every spam so far she hasn't ever done anything with whatever she goes to get for both of them, aka drinking hot chocolate or getting something to eat. Looks like Albert does it for her, I don't know.

♕ Seems to see things that other people do not see. See the second spam for an example. I wish I could explain more on this but I still need to look into it. Can't tell if she was just that weird or actually did see "supernatural" things orz

♕ Did not eat/sleep a lot when younger. At all. She didn't sleep often in front of Albert because she did not want him to freak out, which is probably why she slept a lot at school.

♕ Following with the above bullet, Brianna obviously did not do well in school. I thought otherwise, but this is actually a good thing for her because she likes being... inferior to Albert? Due to G needing him to be better. Even if Albert > Brianna to G, she's still an experiment, y'know? Would rather him be more disappointed in her crappy grades (or her intentional bad behavior) & show him that Albert does a hell of a lot better than she does, though I don't think she has to even try to suck in school, haha. It wasn't ever an important element in her life.

♕ The loli is very clever/wise/sharp/perceptive, but seems really DERP DERP in the simple things in life? Idk but she obviously does not act like a child at all. As weird as it sounds, I think she was born backwards for most of her life. Really srs business as a kid, kind of more docile as a teen, and pretty childish/playful as an adult. Yeah.

teenager brianna
(thirteen~sixteen)

♕ Slowly begins to become more tame/submissive. Did a HUGE turn-around when becoming a teenager & when Albert kind of leveled up, haha.

♕ Still has a bad habit of wandering off/outside without permission. However, she does begin to follow some rules because she's beginning to be aware of things (aka boundaries, her being a girl, etc.)

♕ Wears warmer clothing but still covers most of her body. Mainly enjoys jumpers, a long-sleeved shirt, tights and flat shoes.

♕ Insert more here after another spam or two.

pre-adult brianna
(seventeen~to around now-ish)

♕ Did not finish high school because of That Night.

♕ Like I said before, she spent a lot of her time in the hospital & then a lot of time in therapy. This helped her become the Brianna she is today.

♕ Levels up to seductive!Brianna. \o/ Or rather, she starts to begin her transformation to being, uh. The Brianna she is today. More confident in her skin & enjoying the fact that she's a woman. Obviously this change happened after That Night, maybe when she was around nineteen or so.

♕ Insert more here when I get to this point.