(no subject)

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ quietly makes her way from the stairs towards the study, sort of tip-toeing on over instead of her usual confident, leisurely stroll on through the door. when she arrives she hesitates briefly, fingers curling on the edge of the door frame.

tilts her head slightly to peer inside, curious eyes settling upon the one seated at his usual place. doesn't say anything, though, simply watching him and hoping her silent inquiring would be noticed sooner or later. but she won't utter a word. not yet, anyway. ]

Comments

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ tries to smile a bit, enjoying the sensations. turns his head to kiss at the tips of the fingers still on his face. ]

Do I worry you?

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ looks as if she's thinking, eyebrows scrunching together. soon closes her eyes, shaking her head. ]

I'm not sure. [ pauses briefly. ] I just wanted to be near you.

[ to see if everything is alright, words unspoken. ]

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ leans his head slightly in her direction, an arm wrapping it around her waist slowly, carefully; not confident as usual. gentle, but hesitant. closes his eyes also. ]

As you wish.

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ shifts slightly to put the side of her face on the crown of his head, enjoying the closeness. feels the need to speak her mind finally, even if she's almost certain that she knows the answer to her question already. ]

... am I bad person?

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ raises his head, feeling freed of the fog settling in his mind in response to the need expressed behind that question. pushes his thoughts (his memories) away, concentrates on her. ]

What makes you ask this?

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

I had a dream today. [ stops, hesitating. ] About him.

[ about us; doesn't allow herself to say that, though, but the implications are still there. ]

1/2

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ ignores the implications; keeps his mind narrowed to her. her dreams. him. ]

His words are not my words.

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ reaches a hand behind her head, weaves his fingers into her & brings it down so that he could murmur against her forehead. ]

Not the truth.

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ isn't quite sure if she's comforted by the words, the continual connection of physical contact slowly unraveling what wound her up so tight. ]

I know. But I still wonder.

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ hand in her hair makes rhythmic motions of petting her hair, light yet firm. does not speak, simply waiting. ]

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

Why do you still like me after everything we've been through?

[ there's no uncertainty or doubt in her voice, just innocent curiosity. it shows as she opens her eyes again to look at him again, though it's done a bit shyly, hesitantly. ]

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ eases back into something of a default expression as he gazes at her in fond amusement, like a parent endeared by their child's naivety. ]

Because you are my princess.

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ would question further if she didn't know that the answer is good enough already. simply lets her eyes shut again, moving forward to loosely wrap her arms around his neck in a sort-of hold/hug combination.

might not be sure if it's more for her or more for him, but it works all the same. ]

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ instinct nearly makes him jerk, to pull his head away, but he catches himself in time to merely endure it, closing his eyes as he exhales silently to quench the kneejerk reaction. & slowly, he rests his head against her chest, his breathing slowing as he relaxes. accepts. lets the guards down for this precious moment because she needs this.

lowers his hand away from her hair to wrap that one around her waist as well, simply holding her in a light embrace meant not to cage but to convey. ]

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ relaxes fully in his hold, letting out a near-to silent sigh of contentment. thank you is what she means to say, but doesn't think it needs to be said at this particular moment. is better at showing it in other ways.

seems to collect herself after a minute or so passes by. idly makes tiny circles with her fingers of one hand along his shoulder blade, the action done without breaking off the embrace. speaks in hushed tones as she murmurs: ]

What troubles you?

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ closes his eyes, suddenly uncomfortable in his skin (in his thoughts) as his body rumbles lightly with a quiet, wry chuckle. keeps his answer light. ]

The past.

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

Oh?

[ it isn't said offhandedly, instead full of several questions at once. doesn't want to overwhelm or push him into saying anything more, hoping the tiny verbal nudge helps in some way. ]

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ does not pull away from her grip, having decided that she should be the first one to pull away this time. speaks with a light shake of the head, the smile returning -- almost apologetic, but truthful in its contentment & stability. ]

The years together. And apart. [ pauses. breathes. ] Simply the past.

1/2

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ feels too content at the moment to break the hold, selfishly clinging to the hope that it could last forever. rids herself of those thoughts suddenly, slipping into something different than before. ]

Everything all at once, hm?

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ looks up at the ceiling in thought. doesn't speak for a while, almost as if she's not going to say anything at all until: ]

Perhaps one day things will be different. It's my hope that the past will be the past and nothing more. Move further yet not forget...

[ trails off as if she's realized something, yet she doesn't say anything more than that. even if half of her wants to continue, even she's not certain what she's trying to say. ]

1/2

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

. . .

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ shifts a bit in a full-body nudge, urging her to continue if she so wished. ] . . . yet?

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ concentrates longer after the nudge, remaining silent. allows her lips to curve upward, deciding to gently pull back to look into his eyes. hands find themselves on either side of his face, a light hold. ]

--yet not forget that we're human, just like everyone else.

[ decides to not be very clear on her statement, unsure if that was what she wanted to say. leans forward to brush her lips against his forehead fondly instead, finding that much easier to do for now. ]

1/2

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ laughs quietly, also releasing her waist from his arms. ]

You may be overestimating me, princess.

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ lowers his head, eyes closing again. ]

But not yourself. May you reach that someday.

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

[ wishes she could voice that she hopes that for the both of them, but doesn't, in the end. reaches a hand upward again instead to run a thumb over the side of his face, stroking his skin lovingly.

whispers after a beat in an almost inaudible voice. ]

Thank you, love.

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ this is how it should be.

turns his head against the touch until he finally pulls away to rise to his feet. turns to offer her a hand in assistance. ]

I'm afraid I am little thirsty. Care to keep me company en route to the kitchen?

[prideofbeauty.livejournal.com]

Always.

[ takes his hand and slips up. looks down at her feet and turns her head slightly to the side, attempting to control a larger than usual smile. returns to neutral, looks back up at him. ]

[prideofcontrol.livejournal.com]

[ is generous with his own smile, not bothering to hide anything as he leads them through the door & toward the kitchen. does not look back at her once during the trip, confident in her presence by their connected hands. ]