projectroxas | (no subject)

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[ sitting on his scooter out in the parking lot of the building that he knows is alyssa's last class of the day, elbows braced against the handles as he waits. only checks the clock of his cellphone once when the stream of people appear, signaling the end of the hour. thinks about texting her, but manages to refrain, quietly waiting for a certain princess to appear. ]

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[ tilts her head a bit and wanders on over to him. lifts a hand to stroke his hair. ]

[ leans into that while taking her free hand in his. looks up at her. ]

I need to ask you a question.

[ another blink, this time with a look that's more curious. ]

What is it?

. . . [ breathes out quietly. ]

There were rumours about. . . him. Did you know them? Before you dated him?

[ stares at him for a moment. looks down at the ground, hand tightening around his. ]

... some things. Not all. He seemed like a nice person at first, but...

[ but this happened.

tugs at her a little, moving to the side so that she has more than enough room to sit as well. ]

Was he. . . [ his eyes also lower a bit, wondering if there is another way to phrase this. shakes it off. ] What about later on? After a few weeks?

[ and she does sit, though very slowly on the edge of the bed. gently removes her hand from his, placing them on her lap as she keeps her eyes to the ground. ]

After a week or two he started acting differently. That's... why I wasn't around very often. He didn't like me being out with anyone other than him. He was jealous and possessive, I suppose.

[ lets her draw away, putting his own hands on his knees. ]

But you endured it. For. . . for a month and a half.

[ turns to her, gazing at her face. then uses both hands to gently guide her head back toward him. ]

Lyssa. . . why?

[ looks surprised at the gesture, though something in her chest tightens when the expression on his face comes into full-view. ]

Because... I needed to get over something. [ looks down again with her eyes. ] Someone.

[ stills, his mind processing the information sluggishly -- then his hands slide down from her face to her shoulders. ]

That was worth going through something like this? Weren't there other ways? Couldn't you --

[ stops. droops. ]

Couldn't you have come to me. . . ?

[ looks up at him again, a slightly desperate look on her face. ]

No, especially not you! Because I--

[ stops when she realizes what she doesn't want to say, but knows what she has to say all the same. her gaze goes down to the floor anyway, shoulders shaking as she sniffs once and slowly says: ]

'Cause I... fell in love with you.

[ stills immediately. ]

[ closes eyes briefly, then tugs at her closer against his chest. ]

. . . But isn't that more reason to?

[ wipes at her eyes with a hand, though doesn't bother pulling away despite the urgent need to. ]

No... it gives me less of a reason to.

[ lowers her head to his shoulder, giving what she wants to say a passing thought. decides that it needs to be said. ]

... you know what it's like. Loving someone a lot, but having that feeling that it just wouldn't work out like you hoped it would. That it isn't worth the time and effort for so many reasons, that it'll just hurt more if you try to make something happen yet nothing comes out of it.

[ finally lifts her head to look up at him, laughing a little as she wipes her eyes a bit more. ]

But I guess I was the stupid one, huh? I already knew for sure but I did it anyway. S-silly me.

[ a look of understanding flashes across his face for half a second, followed by another half-second of momentary panic. then he's back to normal as those particular thoughts settle into the back of his mind. ]

. . . Lyssa. [ leans down to connect their foreheads together. ] I. . . you. . . you're wrong.

[ slumps a bit, then deciding that it'd only be fair to be just as honest. ]

It's not. . . as big as this. As you think. I didn't. . . it's not. . . [ stops talking in lieu of pressing his lips to the corner of an eye. draws back after a long moment. ] It's not something that should hurt you.

[ closes her eyes briefly at the contact, peering up at him after. just looks down at her feet again, shaking her head once. ]

You're right, it shouldn't. That's why I shouldn't have done what I did. I... was being extremely selfish, though. I clung onto you for too long. I realized that after some time, so I did what I needed to do.

[ a tiny smile tugs at her lips, making her bow her head further. ]

I didn't even want him around you after a while. But I knew he meant-- means a lot to you, and your happiness matters the most to me.

[ then sits back up, giving him a stern look. ]

So if you dare try to stop yourself just for my sake, I won't forgive you. It'll hurt more than this, and I might just have to sock you.

[ eyes go soft as she lifts a hand, stroking his hair once, the hand stilling when she says: ]

... it'll be okay. I'm a big girl now. I know my boundaries and limitations. The princess can't be protected forever, after all.

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